The Difference Between Envy and Jealousy – Joseph Addai Kusi

Many people do not understand the nature of Envy in the world in which we live. But it’s a reality with which we have to contend all our lives. Envy and jealousy are common to all peoples of the world. No matter where you go it’s something that exists. As long as one person distinguishes himself from other people, envy is bound to be experienced. Many people have asked me what the difference is exactly between envy and jealousy. Most of us use these two words interchangeably but they are different.

I’ve heard it said that Envy is between two people and jealousy between three. So if you are, you’re taller than me, for instance, and I wish I was as tall as you then I may be envious of you. Jealousy is between three people. If I have a friend and you are taking the friend’s attention away from me, then I become jealous of you and jealous of that friend. Well, that is fine but it does not do it justice. Now, Envy is a pain and jealousy is a fear. Envy is the pain felt at the site of another person’s Good Fortune. So, somebody may look at you and say I envy her a beautiful family, I envy her married, I envy her children. So it is a pain the person feels at the sight of your good fortune. So you have the thing, the person looks at it, and the sides of the knowledge of you having the thing give them discomfort. It gives them a feeling of disquiet, discomfort, and unhappiness with themselves. So you could say Envy is unhappy admiration. When somebody envies you, they are admiring you but it’s just sick, it’s unhappy. Jealousy on the other hand is a fear, a fear that what you have another person threatens to take away what you have for you.

 So at your workplace, you may have a wonderful position. A young person comes to the top of his class, from Stanford or whatever, and becomes the most popular person at the workplace and the sight of them makes you feel unsure of yourself. So you begin to feel desperate feelings of longing that your position or what you have may be taken from me. So that is what Jealousy is.

Now, both jealousy, and envy are strong emotions. That jealousy is more benign if you ask me because if you’re married to somebody or you’re in a relationship with a man or a woman, if another person begins to compete with them you for their affection, you may be jealous and that jealousy is well-founded, it’s healthy. Because you cannot love somebody and not be jealous If someone else threatens to take them away from you. Even God is called jealous because he says, you shall have no other gods before me and in that sense he is jealous. But envy is purely distractive, envy is never good. Envy hopes whatever the person has they will lose it or it will be taken away from them and if they lose it or it is taken away from them, the one who envies begins to feel better. Envy is the happiness you feel at the misfortune of those you have envied. So that is the difference between Envy and Jealousy. Both these emotions employ a vast array of uncommon sentiments like defensiveness, anger, and low self-esteem. But the difference between the two is, envy is the pain at the sight of someone’s good fortune and Jealousy is the fear that what you have or someone you have in your life will be taken away from you by another person.